First, I'll start with my somewhat disappointing attempts at losing weight the past few months. I've lost 13 pounds in 3 months, but recently hit a plateau. I was basically low carbing two meals a day, working out 5 times a week for 45 minutes (biking/walking), and was getting down about lack of results. So this past week I decided I needed a break...FROM EVERYTHING. I ate what I wanted and didn't exercise...how did I feel? Like total crap. I felt like a no energy sloth slug. And I gained 5 lbs.
So I'm wondering if my mindset was not right somehow. I have basically been using the message that I want to be healthy and whole. And I've been very grateful for the fact that I can workout 45 minutes at a time, considering I'm morbidly obese and it's a challenge. I've recently added the concept of freedom to my visualizations. I want to be healthy and whole, but most of all I want to be free to do what I want...ride roller coasters with my son, fit on airplanes comfortably, be able to feel attractive on the outside as well as the inside. I'm just not sure what's going wrong.
I've been going to therapy for a few months, and it has been helpful. Though, I think we have to be careful not to dwell on the past and negative experiences, which therapy is sometimes all about. I would like to tell my therapist about my recent foray into the Law of Attraction, and my changes I've made, but sometimes people balk at metaphysical solutions. I just know that there is something in my subconscious derailing my efforts to heal my body. What can it be? I think part of it is definitely fear based...like I'm afraid what I would do if I was attractive to others...would I be a faithful wife? Would I be tempted to explore sides of my sexuality that I never did before? And would that in turn tear apart my life? I guess those are some pretty big fears...haha...no wonder I haven't continued losing weight!?
I welcome any comments or suggestions on this. I don't know if anyone else has used the Law of Attraction to lose weight or the Secret? I am trying. Today I'm going to drink only water, and try to refocus on what's important to achieving the freedom I desire.
Okay...and now for GOOD STUFF!!!
The Secret - Testimonial 2 - The Babysitter and Having Fun
Okay, since I've moved to Virginia almost 3 years ago, I've only found one person who can babysit my son. It's mostly because I'm not good at networking, and have never really wanted strangers watching him. The woman he goes to sometimes when he's out of school and I have to work, well, he doesn't like her because she's very strict. I understand how he feels. I also hate having to take him to her house...I just wanted a babysitter, a college student or something to come to my house.
So this week, I had the opportunity to ask for a babysitter. I had a work event that I was really looking forward to...our department was having a pool tournement during/after work. I wanted desparately to be able to stay and hang out, be social, and feel young for a change. I'm only 33, and not getting out of the house for months is tough. So I just asked God and the universe...I need a babysitter, how can I get this to work. Well, my son goes to an after school program at his school, and this girl at the front desk...I see her everyday, and I just asked...Do you do babysitting on the side? And of course she said YES!! This was just on Wednesday, and the event was Friday (yesterday). So she agreed to just take him home after the after school program was over, and babysit him til 9pm. I was soooo thrilled...not only did I get a babysitter, but she's someone my son already likes and respects, and is background checked! I felt like I'd struck gold.
Then, that also contributes to some other things I've been asking for...more fun in my life, and support from my friends. To get ready for the tournement I took my son to a pool playing place for two days prior, and one night my friend Jason came along, so we got to chat and have a good time and I was able to brush up on my pool skills. So the day of the tournement I was hoping to win, but got to the second round, which wasn't bad. I actually played decently well, and had no major screw ups. I did drink a few Guiness's and enjoyed myself immensely. Jason came in after work to hang out with me after the pool thing was over and walked me back to my car. He's been a great, supportive friend. I was also able to finally meet the wife of another friend at work, which was cool...it's hard to be friends with married guys if you don't know their wives.
So, things are trucking along for me and my desires...here's what my goals are right now:
-be healthy, whole, and free (renewing commitment, working through fears, resistance)
-to gain the support of my friends (going great, having so much help)
-to enjoy my life more (went out two nights this week, yeah!)
-get a babysitter I can trust (check that one off, yippee!)
-be a patient, loving mother
-look forward to my husband's return and focus on what we will do, instead of missing him
-financial freedom (coming along)
-find the best education for my son (tests for new school next week)
Overall, things are going very well, and I am grateful. Please share your stories, what you are thanking for;-)
Mary
No comments:
Post a Comment