Traveler's Gift- Excellent Read

A friend of mine gave me the popular book, The Traveler's Gift. It's a pretty decent book, but it's message is very simple. I'm going to write the seven decisions from the book here as a reminder to myself and anyone who's read it. Good to have them someplace to just ponder easily if you don't have the book around...
1. The buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future.
2. I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others.
3. I am a person of action. I seize this moment. I choose now.
4. I have a decided heart. My destiny is assured.
5. Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit.
6. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself ( my favorite).
7. I will persist without exception. I am a person of Great Faith.

There is a lot in the book that echoes the Secret/Law of Attraction. Its main differences seem to be a focus on self actuation. It feels a bit more empowering, and a bit less esoteric than the Secret. However, I think they all can truly be combined to create one powerful philosophy.

The Law of Attraction and other people

Recently, I've been wondering about the power of the law of attraction and how if you want something, and a person wants something diametrically opposed to what you want, who wins the equation. Here's a for instance. I had to put my son in a private school, because he was too advanced for public school and they didn't have gifted services until second grade. So we put him in the private school, which costs a fortune, but it was worth it for his education. Well this year he became eligible for the gifted public magnet school. Here is the catch. He didn't want to change schools. I tried to cajole him and tell him how exciting it would be to be with other smart kids and have fun...etc...but he really wasn't impressed. We went to the school, he took the tests. He didn't get in. I called the school, they said he missed it by like one point on one of the tests, which is so ridiculous (especially when they claim they don't just look at the tests). Anyway, at first I was pretty devastated...it would have meant a lot more money in our savings to buy a house, etc. I was like, how could God, the Universe do this to me...I had wanted it quite fervently. I thought about it intensely for a few days, trying to make sense. Then I think I finally GOT it. My son just wants to be happy....his happiness is at his current school. I forgot that he also has the power to make the law of attraction work for him. At the end of the day, he got what he wanted for his happiness. I thought, but what about my happiness....for a minute...then I realized...I should want what makes him happy. Maybe it boils down to this...with the Law of Attraction...it's more likely you will achieve what you want if any other people involved are wanting the same thing. There was no way I could sell my son on the other school...the facilities were old, his friends weren't there, and I just couldn't convince him. Now I just need to focus on getting the money for the school and the new house!! We all want the same things now, so maybe it WILL go our way:-)

Going in Circles with the issue of control...

A fundamental part of The Secret or the Law of Attraction is to ask and then believe. In the act of faith and believing, we have to give up the concept of controlling. Yes, we are creating our own destiny through acts of free will, but we wouldn't accomplish anything without the help of the universe, God, your higher power, whatever you want to call it. I have grown up in life to be a control freak...at least when it comes to certain things. In other parts of my life, I totally give up control, but not in a good way...not in a positive way. I try to control what people think of me constantly, I try to influence their opinions, try to convince people what I want is what they want. It's all very destructive in the end and pushes people away...so I've learned the hard way over and over again.

I know if I adhere to the Law of Attraction, and just have faith, then what I truly desire will come to pass. My challenge is that some of these actions are such a contradiction to my personality, that I've been having actual health problems from it. It's like I'm denying who I am, and therefore suppressing powerful emotions, desires, and actions. How can I let go, when my whole life has been about hanging on and controlling things?

I'll continue trying to learn and let go...what are those lyrics from 38 Special, "Just Hold On Loosely, but don't let go, If you cling to tightly, you're gonna lose control."

Lisa Nichols- Podcast Summaries

Summary of Lisa Nichol's Podcast Topics so Far
Here is a basic summary of Lisa Nichols' podcast topics since she started her radio missives. It looks like not all the podcasts are available forever, just the most recent 10. I subscribed and I really think her words of wisdom are worth paying for if you are trying to live by the Law of Attraction:
1. Answering the question: What do I do first? Lisa talks about the Law of Attraction, and she
discusses the actions we have to take.

2. Finding Your "Dot" (I am here as it relates to my spirituality, finances, health, emotions,
relationships). Making 2 lists, what you're grateful for, and what you want to improve.

3. Finding Your "Dot" (part 3) Being flexible. Give things in your life the opportunity to ebb and
flow.

4. Five Areas to Determine the Quality of Your Life- Relationships focus- Don't focus on what the other person is doing/not doing. Look on your side, about what you can do differently.

5. Relationship Prosperity- When we leave the earth, the quality of our life will be determined by the quality of our relationships we had while we were here. How can we deposit more into our "relationship bank".

6. Self Talk- is your self talk positive or negative? Learn how to manage it better.

7. The Power of having Powerful Self Talk- Making sure your "background thoughts" are positive, using positive language. Can only use powerful words..." I have the right to succeed." instead of, "I'm not going to fail."

8. Celebrating the Journey- too often focus on getting to the goal, but forget to enjoy the moment. Be present to the feelings, experience you're having.

9. Health- reconnecting to your body,learn more about how you operate, and focus on healing.

10. Emotions- need to look at and learn how to manage emotions. Focus on how you're feeling, and how to create better feelings for better outcomes.

11. Find out what you're working with. Where are you starting from?

12. Safe Space- having a "safe space" in our relationships. Don't assume anything, ask if you are safe to express yourself. This means an agreement of 3 things: can we agree to reserve judgement?, no repercussions-won't use words against me later, give unconditional love.

13.Power of Words- Remember that your words create memories on people's hearts. Make sure you keep that in mind.

14. Right to Experience Joy- knowing you have earned the right to have happiness.

15. Building Muscles- building your mental/emotional "muscles", not over stressing, building your patience muscle.

16. Gratitude- the space when you are giving the Universe permission to give you more. Be grateful for both the good and bad.

17. Staying Rooted in the WHoLE reality- cutting the umbilical cord to the past...committed to whole truth.

18. Your Home Team- your first team, invest your time- check in and invest in your closest
relationships...your children, spouse...your family

Here's a link to get a subscription: http://www.goodlifenetworks.com/nichols.php

Law of Attraction: Weight Loss Update

Ok, well, while I was sick and grieving, I decided I really need to just let go of the weight loss thing and not worry about it. I tried to remind myself that once you Ask, you just need to Believe, and be prepared to Receive. Sometimes your mind gets in the way, and you don't let the Law of Attraction work, because you are thinking too much about it. So I just thought...God, please help me be healthy, and I let go. I didn't think about eating carbs or not eating carbs. I didn't worry about much really. I also promised myself I'll only get on the scale once a week. So what are the results? Well, I not only lost the weight I had gained, but I finally broke my plateau barrier and went down 3 lbs below it!!! Yippeee!!

Now, the temptation is...once you have a taste of success to try to control it, to try to enhance it somehow. Nope...I'm not gonna do it. I'm just going to keep myself open to receiving. I only could exercise twice this week, because I still am coughing and having breathing trouble, but I think whatever I'm doing is ok. So I'm not going to overanalyse it here or in my head. I just give it up to the Universe, to God...make me healthy please, and help me to be free and balanced.

A lot of critics who don't understand the Law of Attraction or The Secret, complain that it does not focus at all on actions required of the person. What I have learned is actually this is the place where most trip up. If you believe your actions can control the outcome, then you begin trying to control the process. If you try to control the process, then you haven't truly given it to the Universe and God to handle for you. Part of why it works is that we stop obsessing about the thing we want/don't want, and just allow it to happen. If my body needs exercise, and the Universe wills it, I will be motivated and exercise. So far so good. I personally want to exercise 5 days a week and am capable of that...but I wasn't losing weight at all while I was doing it before I got sick. Maybe something in my body was off balance. So I'm just listening to what my body tells me, not obsessing, trying to let balance happen without my hand on the controls. I'll let you know how it goes!

Trying to see daylight...

Well, this week has been one of challenge and despair. It started Monday morning, with the news that my beloved Grandmother passed away. She was finally ready to go, and I was glad she crossed over...but I was in a very dark place. I felt her absence immediately. That morning I had awakened with chest pain, and the beginnings of what felt to be a chest cold. By Wednesday it was a full fledged cough, and by Thursday, I had a fever. When it rains it pours...I kept feeling guilty, could it be my depressed body was attracting yet more doom? I finally went to the doctor, and she gave me medications to heal just about anything. I'm still coughing today (Saturday), and have been begging God, the Universe, anybody to help me get better. My mother is visiting from Florida, and my son is dying to get out of the house and do something, but I still feel like I have a 50lb monkey on my chest.

I have some things on my mind that should probably be free, in order for me to get better. First things first, a friend of mine, well, I realized the limits of our friendship this week. I am trying to seriously look at the bright side, and be grateful for when I do have his friendship, to not focus on what's not available to me. The friendship is unbalanced, but frankly, it's me who gets the most of of it I think, so I just have to be continually grateful for what I can be to him, and just let the rest go. It's been a source of worry in the back of my mind all week. We pretty much resolved things on Thursday, but didn't talk on Friday...so I was back to worrying. Oh well...I've GOT TO LET IT GO.

I'm trying so hard to raise myself up to higher levels emotionally. It is hard when a loved one dies...hard to find joy again...especially in the midst of family drama and a major lack of emotional support. My friends have all pulled away (don't blame them since I'm technically contagious probably), but I really need them closer. I don't do well alone. When I try to deal with things alone, I tend to bury it and let it simmer at a slow boil until months later it erupts in the form of a fight with my husband. I rarely remember the source of it all...and he gets the brunt of it.

I'm going to try the last exercise in Ask and it is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It's an exercise to help you move up the emotional scale. The specific example is a woman dealing with the death of her father, so I'm going to attempt the same exercise with the death of my Grandmother.

I'm going to make a list of conscious statements that I hope will help me move up the scale.

-I am desolate knowing I'll never see my grandmother again.
(grief)

-I wish my father and uncle had not mislead me about how serious her condition was, thus keeping me from coming down to be with her.
(anger)

-My father told me I should have visited her more while she was alive, but he knows I physically couldn't go this past year.
(rage)

-She wouldn't have given up the will to live, if my uncle hadn't bought a house across the country and gone away for a month at Christmas leaving her alone. It was like everyone was waiting for her to die, like she was an inconvenience to them.
(anger)

-My sister claimed she didn't feel that the family included her. She feels my father and uncle don't love her. That she chose this time to reveal all this only adds more stress to the time.
(anger,guilt, despair)


- I got to say I love you on the phone to her, and she vocalized, so I think she understood me.
(hopefulness)

-I'll give my sisters each their choice of anything that was left to me, so they feel better.
(hopefulness)

-I'm looking forward to getting over this illness and getting back to work, to a normal routine.
(positive expectation)

-I appreciate my husband so much for calling me last week, for understanding immediately what I needed, for being there as much as he can from so far away.
(Appreciation)

-I'm grateful for my mom helping me out this week around the house and with Cole while I've been sick.
(Appreciation)

-I appreciate my friends who have expressed their words of kindness, support, concern. For those who have actually wanted to help me...I am so grateful.
(Appreciation, love)

-Death is part of life. It makes me more aware of valuing everyone I have around me. I almost lost my mother as well two months ago. Death has been more prevalent around me and my friends these past months. God is telling us to appreciate all we have and live, thrive, create NOW.
(knowledge)

-I'm glad my Grandma is in a place where she is surrounded by her loved ones. I know she is now aware of all her goodness and has learned as well. To be in a place of joy and understanding is a million times better.
(knowledge, joy)

-I loved being blessed with TWO mothers, each unique and special in her way. Now I have one on each side of the world working in my favor.
(blessed, joyful, appreciative)

-All of this is good. I can find joy in the midst of darkness. For this I am grateful.
(joyful, appreciative)

The key to this exercise is to keep doing it I think. Because it's easy in the middle of being sick, dealing with grief, to see yourself slide back down into anger and other places of resistance. Now that I've done this though, I can just re-read it, and hopefully help myself get out of the grief, out of my illness and back into joy.

Thanks,
Mary K.

My Grandmother is dying...

I got some terrible news over the weekend, that my grandmother who went in for hip surgery last week, has taken a turn for the worse in her recovery. She had a heart attack, and because she's 95 and has a living will, etc...she determined she would rather go to hospice than have them take heroic measures to keep her a live. She lives in Florida, so it is too far for me to drive there, and I have my mother coming to visit me in a couple days...so I just cannot go. I'm trying to deal with horrible grief and not vibrate at the absolutely lowest levels of the emotional scale. I am trying to focus on the joy she gave me while she was living. It's hard though. I woke up with major chest pain and feeling like I had been run over by a truck. I had a party to take my son to this afternoon, but didn't want to go. But I knew it wasn't fair to him to keep him at home all day watching his mother grieve and not having any idea how to help me. So we went, and for a time I was slightly cheered by friends, the company of children, babies looking at me like I had answers and smiling at me with delight. My friends were supportive and kind...so I was at least able to get myself up slightly. Then magically I had a call from my husband's ship...something he's never been able to do in the past...and just the sound of his voice made me feel that all could be okay. He is very spiritual and matter of fact...and he told me to count my blessings, and think about how she had raised me, and how she would want me to remember her not as the fading person in a sick bed, but as the Grandmother who played cards with the twinkling eyes, who let me stir the pots and help her can the summer garden's fruits. My uncle told me her last lucid conversation with him had been about me and my health. This made me bawl of course.

My biggest challenge is my health. I'm diabetic and 160 lbs overweight. It's a daunting thing to try to ask for help with a challenge that big. This week I started with the Esther Hicks processes, to try to regain my health. Along with exercise and trying to eat better, I'm meditating, trying to heal my diabetes, trying to let my body regain balance. I have to let go of something so self-destructive inside, that I cannot even talk about it. When I can do that, I know the healing will begin. Knowing that it was my Grandmother's dying wish that I regain my health, I have more motivation than ever to ask God for help, and to follow through with my own actions.

As of tonight, my Grandmother is still with us. Please say a prayer for her to let go, and be with all those who love her on the other side. I know she will be with me always. Thanks Gram.